S.H.E

崇拜

2010-04-20T19:45:00.002+08:00

自從 Selina 在演唱會上唱了崇拜後, 現在一直很想聽這首歌. 特別喜歡我存在在你的存在這行. 怎麼又這樣?

2010-04-03T22:08:00.002+08:00

im so sick of having to bother about everyone's feelings whenever i do anything. can't i just be selfish for once?

Dreams

2010-04-03T18:39:00.002+08:00

I just woke up from a freaky dream and i had an urge to write it down but i dont think its worth mentioning in my diary so i'll just blog about it.

i've had 2 family related dreams recently and none of them are gd or rather both were freaky?

my first dream occured after mummy and i went to view the house.

i dunno why all 4 of us were lying in the same bed in what looked like one of the rooms of the house we viewed earlier. and it was haunted. i kept waking up and there was always this black presence lurking ard. i think it had sharp teeth and it kept opening its mouth can't really rmb. anw i told my mummy and we just took it as an omen that we shldnt buy that house haha.

2nd dream just occured. this is damn freaky argh. i dreamt that my family was under threat. like this person kept sending threatening msgs to us. first it told us to be less wasteful and not to throw away things that could still be used eg CD. apparently he went through our garbage?

and the threats kept escalating to threats on our lives. there was this series of photos sent to my mummy's phone. one of them was my daddy with 2 brothers standing on either side of him. then the caption read: __________ wants u. ___________ WANTS U!!! (i'm not gg to write the name out) i had this fleeting image of someone being thrown from the top floor of a building and it was dawn.

There was a pic labelled girl 1: me and there was another labelled girl 2: my sis.
the threat was smtg about agreeing to some divorce or else girl 1 will die. there were also pics of us during our daily lives. fleeting images of me/my sis dead.

2nd scene: i walked out of my room and there was a purple yakult bottle outside my house on the floor beside my shoe cupboard. at first i thought i was my mummy's. den i realised we only have vitagen now and she was sitting right in front of the comp drinking one. so i asked her whose it was and she said it was da jiu's. but there was no one outside the house that i could see.

omg super freaked out by this dream. maybe its a cue for me be careful and protect my family. or maybe im missing my daddy too much.

I love you! mummy daddy and sis <3

2010-02-24T18:49:00.001+08:00

I'm supposed to be more self reliant

but somehow i find myself growing more dependent.

and i feel worse everyday.

i cant lift myself out of this hell hole

2010-02-03T20:47:00.002+08:00

Somehow complaining about how uni life sucks doesn't make it any better. i thought it would become better. so i was wrong. again. maybe my life was just designed this way. after the peak during secondary school its just a long slide downwards. everyday i live it just gets worse. i miss my family and my friends.

and i wonder why im so prone to depression...

Escape

2009-11-04T17:59:00.000+08:00

Seeking escape from reality in the virtual world.

Revival

2009-11-04T11:27:00.002+08:00

I've finally revived my blog with SS501!

indeed BOF has shot my husband to fame so now I can find his blogskins but I'm sad that I can't find any Joongbo ones. wells just make do with this.

It's Nov and it's gg to be exams soon. sucks ttm. I'm frequently homesick and I can feel the onslaught of a fever. shit got quiz tmr. which means I'm supposed to be studying instead of blogging but I need an outlet for my negative emotions so here goes...

Huge events have happened recently. made me question the value of things in life. I'm so glad I have friends here. They're my sources of strength when my fam is not around. and my thoughts are damn scattered. -daos-

Anw I think uni life sucks. How come it seems that everytime I enter a new environment, I'll look back on my past and think my past was better? Maybe it's just my lack of ability to adapt. When the novelty wears off, I'll realise that everything has changed and it's too fast paced for me to catch up.

Hols pls come quickly I need a breather.

Happy v day!

2009-02-14T01:55:00.002+08:00

Happy v day! Actually this day lost its meaning for me aft i graduated from st nicks. Like in st nicks we always celebrate, be it making brownies/ cakes or roses the a few days bef till super late at night den kena scolded by mummy lol.

07 not too bad. rmb gg to eat thai express with ting fang and dior den we ordered the super spicy hot and spicy soup and we died drinking it. haha i think the waitress damn irritated with us for making her bring out so much water. den we rdmed ard j8 and talked so much rubbish:P

08 ntg much but ran ard giving out pres. i made the flowers till 2 or 3 am in the morn lor. den met ting and yingjie. wanted to k at first but i had a fever so we went home early:(

haha gg to listen to ntu talks later and have a singles' date! den sending anna off. haha will be calling her doctor next time:D

強顏歡笑

2009-01-24T23:36:00.002+08:00

Feeling quite empty now though it's chu xi tmr.

Absence of school? Somehow there seems to be no aim in life but just earning money. And it's so hard to meet up with friends cause they're all doing the same thing or in NS. -sigh-

May this be a much better year than 08.

2009-01-04T01:28:00.002+08:00

Hmmm this is my first post in 2009! A bit late but happy new year everyone!

I'm like super chao da now even more 黑 than sher and weiting haha. It's because of Ubin and ECP cycling but Ubin is the main culprit. Stayed there 4 days with relatives and fam. Isnt it weird that you never realise how much you miss someone until u see them again? went cycling twice and had adults fussing over us the 2nd time. Didnt have so much trouble when we just went on our own lol. but at least didnt need to 趕羊 the 2nd time round wells. 3rd day me elaine kuang and 大姑媽 got up at 4 am to watch the sunrise and play cards hehe. lousy kuang 倒ed aft just 15 min lol. anw waited until 7am but there was no sign of mr sun so we went back to slp lor. gotta say its quite a disappointment:(

30th went to cycle at ecp with class. class is a rather big word isnt it? took myself an hr hike to get from area g to area f cause the stupid track made me u turn for a freaking 1700 m and counting. haha but we ate cereal prawn and sambal kangkong (my fav) and stingray and satay and hao jian for dinner. pity km wasnt there if not he might treat us to crab!

31st went to K with my cousins for the first time in my life! haha it was a gd exp and there was gossip as usual:p den went home and watched xiao niang re bef gg Yee's house to countdown. when i reached i was damn shocked cause i saw 2 botaks and i thought they were her relatives ir smtg then mike and clarence turned ard and i stunned tio. Mike naturally la cause he too ugly and he grew darker. we drank sparkling juice haha so sad no white wine and watched taipei's countdown. got my darlings S.H.E haha <3

den went to visit tf on the 1st cause he was injured and his mum was sick haha. brought oranges for them. His mum kept offering us things to eat i think i gained one kg from eating the chocs argh.

ok 2nd started work. what can i say? I dun wanna have children anymore lol.

joined tip for K aft work haha really missed the feeling of gathering tog. in the end we became damn high den were dian ning all the high songs bef we were chased out. i was jumping on the sofa during tong kuai. haha really gets u high. zhong finally agreed to sing biao bai! though mike sang most of it in a damn sluttish way but wells its commonly agreed that it's zhong's song:P haha duets were damn funny cause the guys wanted to duet with each other then the songs sounded horribly gay. must be the influence of ns haha.

anw today is 3rd and im trying desperately to stay at home cause the bus fares are horrendous! Have a happy new yr!

2008-12-09T00:53:00.002+08:00

I just realised that my blog is dead. Haha stoning around waiting for 他們的世界 to start at 2.30 am.

Anw prom was on the 5th and it was so so lor. Food sucked pretty much. and for a 6 star hotel? the service is bleahh. They are damn inflexible but wells dont wanna talk bout that anymore. Aft it ended me sai and tornado went to walk ard. Slept by spore river and in macs in the end.

Ok i have nothing to write already. My life is hmmm uneventful and busy at the same time. I still feel weird cause there's no proper ending to my JC life. I think i'll miss it but im glad it ended.

Imba mugging session ytd

2008-08-30T19:25:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was a damn eventful day haha.

First it started with me dreaming in the morn. Kept hearing Timeless in my dreams over and over again. Haha I was thinking "Wah! who like Timeless so much? Put it on repeat so many times." Then I woke up and it was playing haha. My mummy still commented 放這種音樂哪裡起得來?

Ok den watched 命中注定我愛你. 阮經天超帥! but i watched it again today and his brows seem too thick? ok no i cant xiu him now. its too early into the marriage lol.

Hmmm den went to sch to celebrate weiting's bd. All went well except the fact that i was late for 25 min. haha but she was late for 20. so sama sama la. aft that wrote teachers' day cards and went to give pres. omg we learnt an impt lesson. never ask guys to buy pres. haha they damn cheapskate rahh!

then me, fang and shinq went to bugis to study. i had this strong craving for sushi but they didn't wanna wait till 2 for the buffet so in the end we walked ard thinking what to eat and looking for pastamania lol. i think we walked super long cause siak reached when we just sat down:P
haha i spammed half a bottle of cheese! and it was the first time i didn't feel 膩 eating the creamy chicken:D so delicious!

nlb was full so we decided to study in macs. so sad i didnt get to use the nice toilet that fang claimed nlb had. haha i only went there once to do pw. sure brings back memories:)

and here the imba mugging session started. we chose this ulu corner thinking that no one wld disturb us. but omg the grp of ppl behind us talk and talk and talk. esp the irritating guy talk non-stop for more than 3 hrs?!

Guy: Taiwan blah blah blah...
Girl and guy opp: -talked a bit-
Guy: blah blah blah

we stared at each other then me shinq and siak took out our mp3s. fang insisted that she was immune to noise because of me (or rather my singing) so she didn't need haha:P

Guy: 我的前女友...
Me: Walau. 有女朋友了不起啊?
Guy: 我向___ 示愛. 她覺得我很惡!

haha all of us burst out laughing at that. wah i totally agree with the girl la. i was telling shinq its like having jy shi ai to u if ur a guy.

Guy: 那個zabo 要帶我去酒店. 我不要lor.
all of us started laughing again
Me: omg which blind and deaf girl?
his company started talking bout some appreciation of sing and us currency and exchange rate. den siak randomly commented that spore uses a fixed exchange rate! -sigh-

Guy: 你們太單純了, 要像我一樣, 看多一點A 片.
wtf pls say that to ur friends. if its guys maybe still ok la but he was with 2 girls. somewhere in the middle the guy opp him left. must be cldn't stand him:(

aft 2 hrs...
he finally fell silent.
Fang: I really treasure this moment.
Guy starts talking immediately aft that. haha omg we were laughing damn hard la.

Guy: 你喜歡身材好可是不帥的男生...
................. 太漂亮的我也是不要.
Girl beside him: 難怪沒有人要我.

omg!!!! can u believe their egos???!!! pls la the guy super ugly and he sounds like he has a permanent flu. and the girl's make up was so thick that even if an cockroach crawled on her face she wont feel it lor. and who the hell wears flowers on her head?!

Me: did i hear what i just heard?
Siak: she kept touching the flowers.
Me: wanna check for bees ah?
Shinq: maybe he's ok if he go for plastic surgery or smtg.
Siak: Maybe he shld change his voice box!
Fang: the girl ah lists all the gd 條件 den ppl dont want such a gd person den she say nobody want her. -shakes head-

aft that silence for a while. fang looked up as if she wanted to say smtg den shinq was like "don't say! later he start again!"

aft 3 min,
Guy: contact lens blah blah... 我的眼睛有問題所以不可以戴contacts.
Girl beside him: blah blah
Guy: blah blah -gossips bout some girl-
Girl beside him: 我覺得那個女的很漂亮! 她長得很像我!

den silence for like 10 min and den they started talking bout exchange rate and appreciation. Hmmm didnt they talk bout that like 3 hrs ago?!

When they finally left. It was such a huge relief la! den we started bitching about them haha. apparently the girl opp them didn't talk much. siak concluded that she did try to say smtg but was overwhelmed by them.

Ok 2 muslim women sat down where the grp sat and started laughing. we stared at each other. oh no not again?! den we started laughing along with them. lol laughter is really contagious. but they stopped aft awhile. we mugged a while aft that den went home.

-The end-

Ok thurs we went back to st nicks to make and give teachers' day pres. shinq flo siak qiubx gollum mar tornado bex sai aman and me.

Talked to mrs tian and mrs soh. pity we didn't see ms lim and mrs khong. haha when mrs soh saw shinq she said "shinq! do u owe me smtg? where's my distinction?" shinq totally ran out of the staffrm:P

I was quite surprised Mrs tian cld still recognize us even though she thought that she didnt teach some of us when we're all in the same class haha:D she didn't rmb my name but heres what she said: "you! i rmb! the one who always like to laugh. make ppl laugh with ur ans!"

-sigh- I really would like to find the old me again.

den we mugged in the fam lounge. at first shinq self isolated to study. den more and more of us joined her. haha we ended up gossiping. damn fun!

aft that went to buy chocolate fudge cake for weiting's bd. den took 76 to buy 比較美好的世界. Me qiubx and shinq were talking bout what course to take. -sigh- i hope i find my direction soon.
ok thats the end of thurs:)

Bon voyage dev

2008-08-17T00:06:00.002+08:00

It sudd hit me that dev is leaving in 4 days' time. Omg that's damn fast when the truth hasnt begun to sink in totally yet.

Time seems to fly past doesn't it? we've known each other for 6 years! went for our first kbox tog and did so many many things that i dun even know where to start naming from. argh my heart feels heavy now.

I love you Dev! Don't be gone too long! We'll be right here in spore waiting for ur return:)

I'll see you at the airport on tues...

長相思

Stranger

2008-07-25T21:42:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i really wonder, what's the point of life.

if there are no sad things to provide a contrast with the happy ones, then you won't really appreciate and treasure your happiness? So must i feel the pain in order to enjoy the happiness? is the suffering really worth the joy?

I dunno who i am anymore. i've lost my identity along with the many many people who do the same repetitive things every day. Is this what i'm living for? I'm sick of it. I hate school. I hate being suffocated.

不經一事, 不長一智. Is collating so much life experiences necessary? I just need to learn to let go.

and now i've gotta mug for the damn a levels.

Help

2008-07-07T22:26:00.003+08:00

I dont know what to say or think anymore. Sure, i'm upset. It's 6 years of friendship. 6 years of friendship. Can't you all talk nicely and settle everything? This was the last thing i could imagine would happen to us. We've broken up once and split into what we are now. Must we break again? The only thing i feel is my heart breaking.

Sometimes, i wonder why humans were born to feel. I'd rather not feel happiness when ultimately it all leads to pain. I love you all.

I'm so sick of 2008. why is everything bad happening this year?

一起作伴, 一起遊玩, 一起分享青春的寶藏.
一起開始的旅程, 難道現在就要結束了嗎?
六年的友情. 真的能說散就散嗎?

老天爺, 你為什麼一直折磨我?

2008-06-28T00:13:00.002+08:00

I'm doing it! I'm improving relations with all my friends. but somehow i still feel this emptiness in my heart. Maybe its just the meaninglessness in my life. just studying and studying and studying. I'm so freaking sick of it i start laughing or crying to myself at times. Argh Im going mad. Isnt the point of studying to enjoy life? If you dont enjoy life when you're young, how can you do it when you're sixty and need a walking stick?

2008-05-31T00:35:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday 乾媽! 宇宙無敵大淑女! 還是應該說老呢? :D

Haha went ecp to cycle with BCJZ today:) Finally got my tan to make my hairs look less obvious. sam's back was damn red la= sunblock is useless. haha and there were fingerprints all over her back. so ugly.

We shld do this more! So fun and can jian fei. Den took so many random and baichi photos. Too bad Sotong wasn't here:( If not can be so much more baichi lol.

Argh! Think im gg to get muscle ache tmr:(

2008-05-28T22:36:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday 小矮人 and Wenqing! -wonders why people born on the same day have such a huge height diff-

Hmmm i haven't been here so long that my comp deleted my blog add:(

The much awaited June hols is here! Can finally meet up with all my darlings:D

Haha currently looking through the TIP photos now trying to decide which to print. Haha damn tempting to just print all but it'll leave me in debt for the rest of my life. So now i have to painstakingly sieve through everything. But wells i believe that i can get it done bef 4th June 08 jiayou!

I'm having more frequent headaches nowadays. Guess my head is telling me to study. But how to study with a headache? Rahh I don't care I shall ace my blocks:P

Sigh tmr got cca and i cant go k. i shall look on the bright side and think that im gg to save a lot of money. $$

K i think this post doesn't make sense cuz im currently having a headache right now. Haha which reminds me of talking to fang ytd. I think half of what i told her was nonsense? and i got such a shock when i realised we talked for 2 hrs! which sets a new record to my phone talk time. Someday i shall talk for 24 hrs ahaha:)

2008-04-20T21:38:00.001+08:00

好想回到過去.

一天比一天更難熬. 不知何時才會結束呢? 真的快受不了了:(

加油! 一定要撐下去!

2008-03-25T23:39:00.002+08:00

Sorry.

I really don't deserve to be ur friend. All the years we've spent together and i failed to even do something so simple. It's all my fault really.

Why do i always let you down, do stupid things to upset and disappoint you?

I'm so sorry.

The black, gaping hole in my heart.

2008-03-21T20:42:00.003+08:00

I know whats the prob le.

I just dun feel natural and free with them.

Maybe i just dun belong.

It's true what everybody says bout sec sch friends being closest to ur heart. you can count on them to be there for you through thick and thin.

To dry up ur tears when ur sad
To hold ur hand when ur scared
To laugh with u when ur happy and
To scold vulgarities at someone who has made u angry.

I love each and every memory that all of u have etched in my heart<3 be it happy or sad memories, im glad i have gone thru all these with ur:D Love ya!

Finally met BCJZ ytd! <3 so long never see them le. feels so gd just to be with them for that short period of the few hrs. Sam's right. haha time flies past when we're with her. God I miss all of them so much!

Took neos and shopped ard. Haha this shop was having sale then we were like trying a lot of clothes. lol and all 4 of us squeezed into the stupid fitting rm cuz there was only one? it's super dua but still quite squeezy. and everytime you move in and out the threads will just get stuck to you:(

Anw, wanted to buy this damn nice dress but haha too fat so cannot wear. I shall start my dieting plans soon.

-nods head vehemently-

Haha felt like crying when it was time to step out of the mrt. too bad sotong took the other side. then me gan ma and sam were hugging and the pole was in the middle of us lol.

I'll see you all during fiesta soon. This yr must take a lot of pics le. i dunno what they're gg to do to the sch. -sigh-

連遺憾也都不爭氣的珍惜成笑容

鬥牛. 要不要

2008-03-03T23:16:00.002+08:00

Just finished watching the 16th ep of 鬥牛.
It's damn nice! but heart wrenching most of the times.

Haha Hebe and Mike look so sweet together.
Ahh... -sighs-
How come these things never happen in real life?

-laments laments-

2008-02-21T22:43:00.002+08:00

元宵節快樂!

sigh... house feels so empty with my daddy in China and my sis at camp. wonder how she's surviving haha. the girl who takes 2 hrs to bathe. sorta miss her cuz she's always at home doing rubbish.

nvm makes me appreciate the people around me. I love my family! and my friends!
思念里掙扎. really love this line a lot. i miss the st nicks ppl and my squadmates so much. and miss st nicks and the food.

i want back my old life:(

i dunno if i've changed. i think i have. but im not sure if its good or bad. but i know im no longer the happy and carefree person i was just 2 yrs ago.

tell me if i've changed.

and change me back.

2008-01-12T21:16:00.000+08:00

Get to know yourself better

haha i did this twice. First result is based on first instinct:)

Your view on yourself:

Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

The second one is done based on what i like most:)

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:

You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Take me away

2008-01-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

Take me away
I cannot find a way to describe it
It's there inside
All I do is hide
I wish that it would just go away
What would you do
You do if you knew
What would you do?

All the pain
I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to whatWas never said
Back and forth
Inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable come and take me away

I feel like I'm all alone
All by myself
I need to get around this
My words are cold
I don't want them to hurt you
If I show you
I don't think you'd understand
'Cause no one understands

All the pain
I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to whatWas never said
Back and forth
Inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable come and take me away

I'm going nowhere on and on and
I'm getting nowhere on and on and on(take me away)
I'm going nowhere on and on and off and on and off and on

All the pain
I thought I knew
All the thoughts lead back to you
Back to whatWas never said
Back and forth
Inside my head
I can't handle this confusion
I'm unable come and take me away

Take me away
Take me away
Break me away
Take me away

為什麼要闖進我的人生
搗亂它?

I can only blame myself

Dualism

2008-01-06T21:15:00.000+08:00

長大後
世界就沒童話

With your youth goes innocence
naievity
and optimism

i guess cynical shld be the word to describe me now.
believing the worst of human nature. and guarding myself against this invisible wall.

im so tired. i dun want to become like this. but learning from others' experiences, my first instinct is to protect myself and my friends from this ugly world.

sure there are beautiful things. family, friends, people like S.H.E:D

but along with them comes enemies, backstabbers, hypocrites and people whom you just have to get along with because face it, you can't afford to offend them. FAKE. but theres really no choice is that? self-preservation takes place before anything else. even ur own principles?

so why are bad people created? to show the goodness of the good?
does that mean that the good people are making use of the bad? if thats the case, are they really good as well?

hah dev, here's a bit of the dualism:)

hmmm philosophy is so interesting. i wish i cld take that instead of the shit im currently studying. but oh wait! singapore jcs dun offer that:(

meanwhile i'll just stay in my own little world and hope that each day is better than the rest.

even though its not and never will be.

2008-01-01T22:11:00.001+08:00

It's much much easier said than done.

2007-12-30T18:40:00.000+08:00

今天
聽著<最近還好嗎>
眼淚不禁流了下來

也不知為何會這樣
我好象被qiubx影響愛上了emo歌
哈哈

但是聽了933後心情立刻好起來!
因為
今年年度最受歡迎團體又是我的三仙了!

超愛我的老婆!
S.H.E萬歲!:D

2007-12-29T20:46:00.000+08:00

Forget. forget. forget.

我一定要忘記.

2007-12-28T00:38:00.000+08:00

confused uncertain unsure

i'll wait for this feeling to disappear. im not supposed to feel this way.

2007-12-25T21:50:00.000+08:00

今天去了奶奶家. 還不知道自己有多想念她.

和她交談時, 看著她那滿是皺紋的雙眼, 心裡不禁疼痛了起來.
看起來那麼憔悴, 最近還剛動了手術.

真後悔沒好好陪她...

我一定會做個孝順的孫女和女兒!

2007-12-13T21:40:00.000+08:00

Haha went kbox today!

with my sprained ankle and everything:)

Yee and Mummy went to watch ENCHANTED in the morn. -raises eyebrows- haha new scandal. and they were still eating ice cream tog when they met us. i managed to kope a bit of yee's pepper lunch ice-cream. haha so delicious! I think aft gg to 淡水 i really despise mac's ice cream cuz its like 60 cents and half the size of 淡水's 50 cents ice cream. and got so many more flavours some more lol:D

the most qiao thing is that we met aman they all at the coffee shop where we ate lunch! and they were gg to k as well. haha:)

oh jing bao news! Yuan lai zhong zhong is damn wei da! he helped cover mei and wen de lian qing for so long. -sigh- they even jian jia zhang le can?! but dunno when they bai-ing xi jiu lol. i don't care tippers must get VIP seats! cuz we helped to qian hong xian hahaha:D

Mummy was quite high. haha knocked down a glass of water in his highness and spilled sprite all over our slippers lol. but i wasnt that high cuz cldn't jump and all that. xiufang just totally screamed at me when i attempted to la. sads:( and the 最近還好嗎 song haven't come out yet:( nvm i shall go again when i have money!

Den huan and wen treated me and the others to cheesecake. Damn heavenly and damn sinful haha. omg i'm like salivating now. conditioned reflex. eh i still rmb my bio! and i still have 2 more for breakfast yay!

2007-12-12T00:12:00.000+08:00

最近還好嗎

挑一張耶誕卡寫上滿滿祝福的話
地址寫的是心底你能不能收到它
天有點冷風有點大城市寧靜而喧嘩
這一個冬天我得一個人走回家
問自己習慣了嗎沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裏掙扎
你說會記得我還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
有再多的牽掛都已沒有權利表達
舊情人給的問候比陌生人還尷尬
昨天遠了明天還長回憶模糊但巨大
這樣的深夜眼淚要怎樣不流下
問自己習慣了嗎沒有你每到夜裏回聲變得好大
有沒有什麽好方法讓寂寞更聽話
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裏掙扎
你說會記得我還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發
你最近還好嗎
是不是也在思念裏掙扎
你說會記得我還記得嗎
你最近還好嗎
忙碌嗎累嗎心還會痛嗎
如果真不得已忘了我
快向快樂出發

2007-12-06T00:32:00.000+08:00

Convo btw Michael and Ming Yeung at Shi san hang
Michael: -touches ming yeung's ji ji-
Ming Yeung: Damn big right?

chao disgusting.

One of the many er xin convos btw Shona and Michael
Shona: Darling, just now i pushed u u ok a not?
Michael: U broke my heart u know...

Haha as u can see Shona has gone mad. damn pei he michael and his er xin stuff. even buoya him and let him hug her. -sigh- i pity her bf. and the worse thing she said was " Now u know what sort of bf i have. -laughs- "

lol i think tf will just kill michael can? i wanna see what happens next yay!

today zhong zheng ppl met zham zham and benjamin at some random japanese stall. den we shopped ard tog! haha yee looked so happy ah:D anw i dunno what happened next cuz me and my buddy left early cuz she was scared that we'll miss our last bus. lol we slept on the bus and missed our stop! so cross over and take lor. haha:)

2007-12-02T23:30:00.000+08:00

Ytd went xi men ding:D zhang shao han was having her qian chang hui. but no dou niu:(

yay saw the rest of the ppl from other schs. basically shopping the whole aft. but i only bought 2 bags cuz haha leg pain den really not in the mood to shop. haha i think i very er zuo ju lol:D i turned yee ard to directly face zham. den they both screamed at the same time and look damn shocked haha. chao jing dian! :D

anw zham zham got jealous!

let me narrate:
we saw vincent at the place that we were buying bags. den yee rushed out of the shop to say hi. and zham said " you ren fa hua chi le" den walked away. and his expression was hmmm how shld i say?...

haha yuyi was damn funny. she pointed to some mian xian shop den said " zhe ge chao hao chi de" and her next line was " wo mei you chi guo" lol:D

zhong zheng ppl den went liu li's house bbq at night. omg my xing xiang quan dou hui le:( lol i shall not describe what we did at his house. let the secret remain a mystery forever muahaha:P

today we went cheng pin! damn nice! haha i spent NT 2416. yay 3rd highest spender. michael owned everyone with chao thick books. 3000 plus bucks. yee yee 2nd with ard 3000 bucks too. den hui ge ard 1500? and huan totally cool. 0 bucks lol.

haha this the first time i've ever spent so much in a bookstore! and the most ironic thing is that i dun read chinese books:D haha i bought xie zhen and piano scores. yay cheng pin wan sui!

aft that went 101. its super qiao zha tourists. den went benjamin's house. omg like hao zhai can? and like hotel. can use as class chalet next time haha. but must buy air ticket first. the maid also ji cool. speak chinese de. zham zham is so lucky. got king sized bed to slp on somemore. haha yee yee wanted to slp over:P get the implication? lol.

oh i finally decided not to despise mingyeung cuz hes quite useful as a first aider. lol helped ppl massage leg de.

and i found out that wei yu live in xin zhuang too! and takes 299 also. but in the end me yinghao wei yu and my buddy took cab cuz annie had to return home early to do hw. which reminds me that i havent done mine yet haha:(

i missed my dou niu:( shall watch next time:D

random comment:
michael leung is damn sick and vulgar. a bit screaming the f word to ming yeung over the phone on the road can? the ppl a bit shao ah. haha:D

anw tmr must go to sch le. hope it wun be so cold!

2007-12-01T00:00:00.000+08:00

Haha 2nd day of sch today.

went shihlinyeshi ytd. food chao nice. and we met up with cheng gong ppl:D but i walked ard with crutches the whole of ytd. chao malu:( and michael sister and mingyeung damn er xin. touching each other in front of the teacher ah. cuz they were supposed to be advertising for some bra... i shall not say more.

today attended english, gong ming and math lesson. they learn stuff that we never. and one of the methods is damn fast! but they quite sad leh cannot use calculator. hahaha:D

intro in the morn was damn funny. a bit reach shona the guys sudd cheer damn loudly. and ming yeung is damn hot in liu li's class. haha a bit 2 girls da shan him alr. and one of them has a bf in cheng gong le. haha mei xiang dao zai spore bei despised de ren zai taiwan so hot ah. lol:)

just walked ard taipei zhe zhan. met up with cheng gong ppl again and xi song de! haha miss them so much. den tmr meeting all of them le! yay my chagiyas:D

my buddy predicts that they'll be stuck at the kiap kiap machine again tmr. haha i think so too! a few more hours peeps! oh and wen got this nice hammer thing. haha he's quite pro at this. huan can use it to hit zham. yay:P

i just killed a mosquito. but it sucked my blood le:( haha i shall not let it affect my mood.

i love TIP 07!

2007-11-29T11:24:00.000+08:00

Haha currently in Taiwan now. in my buddy's sch!

Zhong zheng wan sui!

anw im in the lib now using the comp cuz im bai ka ing. but i dun hou hui doing the dances! apollo rocks totally haha... i think we did well :D but mei is still the zai est lol. got a damn nice pic of her doing the dance. my chagiya is damn hot and sexy haha:)

i miss the rest! and its only been less than 24 hrs haha. looking forward to seeing them on sat. sat come quick.

oh btw zham de tao hua damn wang this month haha:P but i shall not reveal any details here!

yay:D

Happy Birthday!

2007-11-11T09:53:00.000+08:00

Haha I'm blogging from my daddy's house in China now:D
yi jia ren tuan jv de gan jue zhen hao!
Yay I <3 my family!

lol played hearts until 2am today and my mummy damn funny! Shook my hand and said Happy New Year at 12am. Guessed she too tired desu:)

Haha and i shot the moon successfully for the first time! (with a lot of help from my auntie) haha which reminds me that she almost wore bedroom slippers out to eat dinner... -laughs to death-

and MAR U SUCK! what kind of rubbish birthday wish is that? i shall consider it void since u sent 1 hr and 24 min early haha:P

but meanwhile i love today!

2007-11-07T23:28:00.000+08:00

Ate pasta for lunch today topped with oozing and sprinkled cheese. ah... -drools-
very long never eat le. and i really wonder how long zhong can keep tempting me with his 3 icecreams per day. wl.

ok lets go back to mon. went m sq to shop for pres for buddies! haha and mei kept on getting zhammed by zham and wen. and she sudd just turned ard and punched wen in the stomach. chao jing bao lol. haha den he immediately set down on the escalator and said he was gg to lao sai haha.

den zham didn't get punched cuz he hid behind huan. coward lol. but heard he got slapped by mei on the mrt aftwards. haha HUO GAI. and mei said he didn't apologise! but he said sorry to her today aft much prompting. erm herm.

haha today k chao bu shuang. and the person kp trying to chase us out when there were empty rooms? haha only high for a short period of time. we tried to zham zham by putting all his fir songs tog lol. den separated cuz we pitied him haha. if not he'll be on the headlines tmr. "Girl dies of lack of breath in kbox" muahaha.

anw today ended badly. i hope that that hao ren hui you hao bao! :(

2007-10-29T00:50:00.001+08:00

I realise that i really really do support Kira so haha im back to death note again. and the fact that Kira tips L over looks funny and damn cute<3

Haha if there really was a Kira on Earth... -sighs and stares dreamily into space-

Anw, Happy Birthday my darling Qiubx! <3

2007-10-20T21:17:00.000+08:00

I miss, really miss the old times.

Its just so different now. even going out feels diff. we're no longer the people whom we were just one yr ago. everyone has changed in one way or another. and im not sure if that change is positive or negative.

Wells, why can't time just stop when we're together? It just seems that everytime we go out time flies past and we have to go home le:( i miss all the talking, gossiping, bitching and all the good and bad times we had.

-sigh- If time could turn back again, I definitely won't mind taking o's again. I love St Nicks! It's because of this heaven on Earth that i met all of you, my friends<3

The pace of life forces us to move so quickly that we dont even have time to stop to take a breath.

2007-10-18T21:17:00.000+08:00

List out your top 5 birthday presents you wish for:

1. S.H.E

2. Hyun Bin

3. Go Japan and shop for free

4. be a nicer person

5. lots of vcds

Answer the following questions:

1. The person who tag you is? Siak.

2. Your relationship with her is: classmate cum recess gang in 4 charity (:

3. Your 5 impressions of her: quiet (laughs to death), shy (laughs to death again), short, michelle's friend?, guai during lessons:D

4. The most memorable thing she had done for you? haha eating recess tgt for almost a year (:

5. The most memorable words she had said to you? ling yan

6. if she becomes your lover, you will? i dun think so?

7. if he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be? her height lol

8. if he/she becomes your enemy, you will? be emoing for the rest of my life.

9. if he/she becomes your enemy, the reason will be? insulting S.H.E:D

10. the most desire thing you want to do for him/her now is? give her a nice bd pres.

11. your overall impression of him/her is? a good friend for life?

12. How do you think people around you will feel about you? random, horrible singer muahaha, sadistic, S.H.E lover!

13. the character you love of yourself is? im not zi lian:)

14. on the contrary, the character you hate of yourself is? im damn noisy

15. the most ideal person you want to be is? myself:D

16. for people that care and like you, say something to them. Yay i love you all<3

17. pass this quiz to 10 person that you wish to know how they feel about you.

1. back to siak

2. mar mar

3. oppa/ sai

4. qing

5. salad

6. sam

7. dior

8. chong ying

9. ting

10. xiufang

im bored enough to do this:(

Who is no.6 having relationship with? Gan ma?

Is no.9 a male or female? female

If no.7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?Yup

How bout no.8 and 5? er dun think so?

What is no.2 studying about? how to be more insane

When was the last time you had a chat with no.3? today?

What kind of music band does no.8 like? JAY CHOU. but she cant read chinese words :D

Does no.1 has any siblings ?1 sis

Will you woo no.3 ? she's mine alr.

How about no.7 ? Hmmm michelle will kill me?

Is no.4 single ? dunno?

What is the surname of no.5? Ong

What is the nickname of no.10? toshio. didnt last though :(

What is the hobby of no.4? quoting harry potter with qiubx

Do no.5 and 9 get along well? er they dunno each other?

Where is no.2 studying at? hwachong

Talk something casually about no.1? Stop being so scandalous! haha:D

Have you try developing feelings for no.8? eeyer:D

Where does no.9 live at? punggol

What color does no.4 like? dunno?

Are no.5 and 1 best friends? ahaha dunno each other either.

Does no.7 likes no.2? i dun think she likes a crazy person?

How do you get to know no.2? class?

Does no.1 have any pets? nope

Is no.7 the sexiest person in the world? yup yup:)

Conclusion: Im still bored:(

2007-10-12T22:25:00.000+08:00

I dunno what's happening with my life.

im lost, confused as to what's happening around me. i think im gg to burn myself out soon.

why cant i just take all the misery in your lives and give you my happiness. then i wont have to worry.

a close brush with death.

i've woken up.

2007-09-13T00:32:00.000+08:00

Today was a good day!

Went back St Nicks and managed to see all the teachers that we wanted to give teachers' day pres to. mrs Khong was leaving and even Mrs Soh was there! must be our lucky day:D

anw talked to the teachers and realised there's so much that i miss...
their voices
their habits
their stories
then we were like discussing the power failure thing. haha the teachers thought it was a teachers' day joke that the students wanted to play on them and even scolded them lol.

haha mrs soh still calls ttj the devil of her class! i couldnt agree more. and she treated us to mooncakes. - mouth waters -

den ate orange bowl and went back to find mrs tian. haha she said her daughter was in danger of not being promoted in HC. wl dunno why they set the standards so high:( her daughter is smart de lor.

shared quite a lot of gossip haha. i sudd think we super big mouth. but who cares lol.

den mugged in the fam lounge. damn er xin! i miss my wooden tables. the plastic childish tables and chairs got a lot of bird shit de lor.

and mrs goh was damn nice. haha gave us each a packet of raisins:)

-sigh- shen at fu zhong bu zhi fu.

st nicks teachers really rock! they're so hardworking and the teachers in hc are like shitified and ^&%^#$@!! its an insult to st nicks teachers to compare them to hc ones wl.

anw hope ms lim will have a smooth delivery and haha hope she gets her baby girl soon:D

i shall blog bout dior's birthday another day:) for now i shall just go mug for tomoro's chem test.

sian diao.

2007-08-31T20:42:00.000+08:00

Im never gg to eat another fried dumpling with a streak of mayo on top again!

Hmmm today supposed to go back to give presents to the teachers de, but ytd msg was passed down from the HEAD PREFECT that there was a massive power failure and that they wont have sch today. even prelims for sec 4s postponed la.

but we saw people wearing st nicks sch u today! omg i dun wanna kena scammed!

ok so bcuz we cldnt go back we had to stay and watch everything today. quite boring halfway. only interesting thing was the teachers that part. damn lame lol! and mei pao qi her zhong to ta her the other chuan. she's like ta-ing 3 la. so zhong threatenedto break up with her. den she said damn er stuff! what she gg to find him to an wei him lol:X

went party world aft that with qiubx siak and mich. really not nice. damn sleazy la. and we didn't get to sing a lot of songs:( duet with mich lots of times lol cuz im the only one who can sing the guy's part without looking so tong ku. -looks at mich- haha she damn hao xiao la. when singing the guy's part 整個人僵硬. I took a video of the contrast:D

joyce and bex joined us and we went to sakae to eat buffet! lol never eat for a long time le. everything was quite nice except for the fried dumplings! omg damn er. i ate until i felt like vomitting. den everytime it appeared on the belt i also wanted to vomit can?!

qiubx and mich damn 惡作劇! mean poks. took pic of the dumpling den send to my phone and set as wallpaper while i was in the toilet la. den like go and hide the dumplings and give to me when i asked for OTHER food. chao er xin! its the worst food i've ever eaten in sakae. hnng!

rahh did i mention i went to the toilet to try and shit for 2 times den both times also shi bai lol. but i shitted just now le. Damn shuang!

lol den went to the neoprints there and took photos using camera haha! my photos imba nice de! haha my stomach damn pain aft the buffet la. they say i was like some yun fu:( haha mich was joking bout rebouncing out of the train cuz very crowded ma. den she'll what try to keep me inside:D

ok got stuck inside the interchange cuz the door closed on me. haha but lucky got this nice woman asked me to zhuan under the railing. so managed to catch my bus:D

yay thats all. Happy teachers' Day to St Nicks teachers!

And Happy Birthday Joyce!

2007-08-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

Hmmm quite pissed because of something that someone said today. But quite appeased now. so i shall blog to warn others not to repeat.

cause last time somebody said something similar then i was in a good mood so i didn't really bother about it.

but this is like the 2nd time? and i swear that there wont be a third.

so pass whatever you wanna say through ur brain before u say anything.

and show some basic respect for women.

you dont wanna see me blow up.

High

2007-08-06T01:29:00.000+08:00

Whees I'm damn high now! spent the day pooling, den party worldling and now mass convo with the TIP ppl.

damn fun! setting up a family tree which sadly has only one guy who has a high potential of becoming another jie mei lol:D

and ying hao is our ah ma:( we'll look into that soon. hahas i think we're damn wuliao, collating our birthdays to decide the order of the sisterhood, or to put it nicely, family tree:D

this time is like supposed to slp or study for tomoro's aa lol but just dao la:)

and i conclude that i dun like party world. dunno how to use remote haha which is like a big cross cross le:D

oops the convo is like gg in a sick direction! but i like!

lol pls stay tuned for more info:D

My home

2007-08-05T02:10:00.000+08:00

Lots of stuff has kept me busy this whole month or few months or whatever. dun even have time to go back st nicks.

just went blog hopping today

all the 1st posts i see are all emo posts.

but what hit the hardest is dior's photos. right there in her blog. its like a punch to ur gut. the rooftop garden, clock tower, canteen...

rahh i can't stop the tears. damn it.

POP 07

2007-07-06T23:22:00.000+08:00

It seems so fast that the red badge has to step down. i can still rmb vividly our own POP la. wells i feel old.

they're really an emo badge. cry until damn can3 la. -sigh- i miss my squadmates, the 4 yrs of fun, laughter, tears and stinkiness and whatever that we shared...

growing up is really part of a social dance. we try not to step on anybody's toes and try to interact with everyone, pretending to be friendly and socialble so that we won't be ostro. damn fake. im sick and tired of all this. im suffocating and i feel a sense of mo ming pressure everytime i go to sch. i hate this stifling environment where i cant even talk normally to ppl because there is just no topic and plain awkwardness.

but i feel like an entirely diff person with my friends. i dun need to worry bout anything. i can be my free real self. 真的感謝老天讓你們陪在我身邊.

This is the aptest song to describe how i feel now.

我不想, 我不想, 不想長大
長大後, 世界就沒童話
我不想, 我不想, 不想長大
我寧願, 永遠都笨又傻

2007-07-04T00:26:00.000+08:00

haha i like this

You value your friendships: 80%
You love your friends very much - so much so that it's actually quite a worry. You may not be able to cope very well when you do lose somebody's friendship. You are a very sensitive and fragile person, and are therefore likely to get upset easily. You care for your friends and are willing to do anything that they ask you to do. Sometimes this can make your friends think that you are a bit of a nuisance. Nevertheless, people do really love you because your highest priority is your friends.

2007-07-03T23:46:00.000+08:00

So much is happening within one wk.

I miss my june hols, the carefree days when i dun need to be stressed, when i can finally see my beloved squadmates, go for JTC with them and miss the good old days. even do smtg so happening as queuing for donuts for 2 hrs haha. i feel old. and my BCJZ!

I miss JTC, miss changing in and out of full-u for over 10 times, not the smell though, with olivia reminding me how much i stank last last yr.

now all we get to do is watch xiao qiang chase ting and hearing her scream haha.

and this yr's JTC was screwed screwed. red badge is damn suay.

gg for POP this friday. hope the yellow badge will do smtg nice for them and do a good job when they take over. haha it just feels like ytd when we did the Zoeraine fan club banner. time really flies.

which is good la cuz this horrible 1 and a half yrs will all be over soon. i hate this place. hate the culture. hate the insensitive bastards and backstabbers and many many more.

help me to bear with this.

2007-04-29T23:16:00.001+08:00

I conclude that im a dian nao bai chi. Ok i knew that a million yrs ago but im just reiterating the fact again.

I had such a hard time changing my blog layout rahh. and the colour of the links is stuck at white and i have absolutely no idea how to change it to black (or any other colour for that matter).

So meanwhile i shall just pray that a good samaritan (however you spell it) will come along and help me.

Hmmm Friday was Sports Day. had "class dinner".

had been looking forward to it since like forever. but it was such a disappointment.

it was practically a trip down to hell and back. i didn't even have any appetite.

wells i know what to expect the next time.

now i finally understand the meaning of the greater your hopes, the bigger the disappointment.

長相思

2007-04-19T21:28:00.000+08:00

長相思長幾個夜晚?

2007-04-19T21:09:00.000+08:00

Sorry Qing!

It was a last min impulse la and VJ is so far away...

I'll buy a ding qing xin wu with u next time to ni bu k? haha damn proud of myself cuz i alr have one with qiubx and BEX. smell the vinegar in the air? (directed to qiubx) haha.

Oh man 27 apr is like so far away and my heart is bursting just thinking of it. Rahh miss 4c so so much.

Hmmm changed my braces colour to pink and im like seriously regretting it now cuz it looks damn er on me. that's why i've always hated the rubbish colour. haiya i just can't ai wu ji wu and like the colour bcuz of Selina.

Hana Yori Dango 2! Hanazawa Rui is really heartstopping. haha i still recall the scene where they were talking bout zhen jing stuff and then he was just sittting behind them and blowing bubbles into the water. So ke ai! Sorta reminds me of L. He's cute la but I'm still on Kira's side.

And why is Nightmare Detective M18?!

I damn bu shuang leh. wait so long then tell me its M18. rahh...

2007-04-16T21:47:00.000+08:00

BCJZ
Sam (Sir Panty)
Sotong
Salad
Jing
Gan Ma

4 Charity

Bong
Carolandy
Ning Lynn
Mich C.
Clara
Carolyn
Flo
Aman
Qiubx
Qing
Chieny
Mich L.
Yi Ci
Shinqyati
Wei ge
Jean
Joo
Karmen
Lix
Siak
Mieo
Sai
Jindo
ME:D
Bex
TTJ
Valerie
Gollum
Wessa
Jasmine Yeo
Mar

Squadmates

Jeannie
Val
Jin An
Shu
Dior
Jen
Dev
Mich
Merisa
Wessa
Cheryl
Ting
Alina
Huiwen
Ying jie
Shir
Sai neo
Joann
Wan Xin
Daphne
Pei Yu
Me!

一起開始的旅程...

2007-04-14T22:09:00.000+08:00

I realized that im sorta blogging on a regular basis now. Not like last time when i didn't go online for half a yr haha.

Wells, i think the situation is getting much better. im slowing integrating into whatever it is i need to integrate into. or maybe its because i just dun feel anything anymore because im living my life like a robot. Im just gg thru everyday bcuz i have to.

Qiubx is right. There's no incentive for me to go to sch anymore.

Just went to AMK hub with Qiubx, Mich, Chieny and Yati ytd. Met Tingting and Maniam. Damn qiao haha. Dun ask me why im calling her maniam now. just feel like doing it:) I felt so much older seeing them again. like we've only seen each other maybe last yr or last last yr but it seems like a decade has past.

This is the stress that the society and others pile on us. we handle the stress cuz we dun wanna be eliminated in the tough competition. and so what if u climb to the top. there's no happiness to be experienced there. so whats the damn point of it all? have a grand funeral? bring all ur money to heaven or hell with you?

I really dun understand. I need enlightenment.

(This is not an emo entry. i just need to relieve my emotional stress which has nothing to do with hw btw)

怎麼辦?

2007-04-08T23:34:00.000+08:00

為甚麼你為甚麼
老是把空氣全都吸光了
害得我你害得我
在你面前呼吸急促需要叫救護車
別看我先別看我
我的臉紅就快要爆料了
沒甚麼哪有甚麼
我是絕對不會承認我喜歡你了

怎麼辦感覺甜又酸
偷偷愛你快樂又孤單
怎麼辦愛卻不能講
你真討厭不來幫我的忙

你怎麼可以這樣
笑容打敗太陽
甚至比我還要更好看
我雖然無力抵抗
但是日子還長
總有一天換你為我瘋狂

為甚麼你為甚麼
這樣不講理的就出現了
害得我你害得我
連僅有的一點矜持優雅全都毀了
靠近我別靠近我
到底離你多近比較好呢
完蛋了我完蛋了
我整個人眼看就快要不是我的了

好想念花樣哦! 艾拉, 吳尊, 唐禹哲!

There's no place like home

2007-04-07T10:14:00.000+08:00

I finally understand the meaning of that. Nothing is comparable to St Nix even at its worst. There's freedom of speech and you know your friends genuinely care about u from the bottom of their hearts and love u as much as you love them. maybe more haha... Then there's the teachers who KNOW how to teach. and whom u know u can turn to if u have any probs.

But here its like ppl are just waiting for you to make a mistake, then they'll pounce on you and lock you in jail for the rest of the time ur gg to spend here. So its like one mistake and ur gone.

-sigh- there's nothing i can do to change that.

Why is human nature like that?

姊妹同心!

A trip down memory lane

2007-04-05T22:58:00.000+08:00

Went back to St Nix today.
The feeling of nostalgia was lurking everywhere. seems as if it was always hiding somewhere waiting to devour us.

From walking along the corridors of the science labs and for the 1st time noticing the cute einstein there
to the empty peacock cage
and the table tennis areas
past the gym where i whole day see sai doing funny stuff
of course there's orange bowl

I'd do anything do my experiments in those labs again. it feels so much like my own instead of some other lab that uses things which are so foreign to me. i just have the feeling that if i stare hard enough it'll turn into the familiar stuff that once felt so comfortable in my hand.

I dunno why i feel this way. im walking along the same paths yet the feeling is so diff from last yr. it felt like home to me, second nature. prob the diff clothes im wearing. its like so damn ugly and cannot be compared to my pinafore.

I don't like the culture here. I miss the wonderful culture in St Nix where there are no politics, no need to fight at all to survive. even if ur hated, u wont be ostracized. i'd rather be taking o's again and back in st nix than here where i have to fight so hard to get thru the depression each day. at least our whole class cld still play together and laugh together. i'm tired of all this. i wish it would just stop.

2007-04-04T21:01:00.000+08:00

I just came to a realization that i dont belong here.
I really wish to, but now i know i cant.
Did i make a wrong choice in coming here? I knew second intakers would be unhappy but i thought with like half my class here i could somehow manage to fit in.

Guess i was wrong.

We dont share the same memories for the 1st two months. I dont know what im doing here. Peer pressure? or maybe its just because i missed them too much and wanted to spend another 2 yrs with them.

I should have known right from the start. They got kicked out on the day that i got posted in. I got them into trouble on the 1st day of school. And how many times have i seen them looking damn unhappy?

I dont wish to be here.

I really shouldn't be here. I'm just depriving others of a chance to remain where they desperately want to be. I'm so damn selfish.