自從 Selina 在演唱會上唱了崇拜後, 現在一直很想聽這首歌. 特別喜歡 我存在在你的存在 這行. 怎麼又這樣?

im so sick of having to bother about everyone's feelings whenever i do anything. can't i just be selfish for once?

I just woke up from a freaky dream and i had an urge to write it down but i dont think its worth mentioning in my diary so i'll just blog about it.

i've had 2 family related dreams recently and none of them are gd or rather both were freaky?

my first dream occured after mummy and i went to view the house.

i dunno why all 4 of us were lying in the same bed in what looked like one of the rooms of the house we viewed earlier. and it was haunted. i kept waking up and there was always this black presence lurking ard. i think it had sharp teeth and it kept opening its mouth can't really rmb. anw i told my mummy and we just took it as an omen that we shldnt buy that house haha.

2nd dream just occured. this is damn freaky argh. i dreamt that my family was under threat. like this person kept sending threatening msgs to us. first it told us to be less wasteful and not to throw away things that could still be used eg CD. apparently he went through our garbage?

and the threats kept escalating to threats on our lives. there was this series of photos sent to my mummy's phone. one of them was my daddy with 2 brothers standing on either side of him. then the caption read: __________ wants u. ___________ WANTS U!!! (i'm not gg to write the name out) i had this fleeting image of someone being thrown from the top floor of a building and it was dawn.

There was a pic labelled girl 1: me and there was another labelled girl 2: my sis.
the threat was smtg about agreeing to some divorce or else girl 1 will die. there were also pics of us during our daily lives. fleeting images of me/my sis dead.

2nd scene: i walked out of my room and there was a purple yakult bottle outside my house on the floor beside my shoe cupboard. at first i thought i was my mummy's. den i realised we only have vitagen now and she was sitting right in front of the comp drinking one. so i asked her whose it was and she said it was da jiu's. but there was no one outside the house that i could see.

omg super freaked out by this dream. maybe its a cue for me be careful and protect my family. or maybe im missing my daddy too much.

I love you! mummy daddy and sis <3

I'm supposed to be more self reliant

but somehow i find myself growing more dependent.

and i feel worse everyday.

i cant lift myself out of this hell hole

Somehow complaining about how uni life sucks doesn't make it any better. i thought it would become better. so i was wrong. again. maybe my life was just designed this way. after the peak during secondary school its just a long slide downwards. everyday i live it just gets worse. i miss my family and my friends.

and i wonder why im so prone to depression...

Seeking escape from reality in the virtual world.

I've finally revived my blog with SS501!

indeed BOF has shot my husband to fame so now I can find his blogskins but I'm sad that I can't find any Joongbo ones. wells just make do with this.

It's Nov and it's gg to be exams soon. sucks ttm. I'm frequently homesick and I can feel the onslaught of a fever. shit got quiz tmr. which means I'm supposed to be studying instead of blogging but I need an outlet for my negative emotions so here goes...

Huge events have happened recently. made me question the value of things in life. I'm so glad I have friends here. They're my sources of strength when my fam is not around. and my thoughts are damn scattered. -daos-

Anw I think uni life sucks. How come it seems that everytime I enter a new environment, I'll look back on my past and think my past was better? Maybe it's just my lack of ability to adapt. When the novelty wears off, I'll realise that everything has changed and it's too fast paced for me to catch up.

Hols pls come quickly I need a breather.